


To Find You

by sulliebee1019



Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Song Lyrics, based off the song To Find You from the movie Sing Street
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28332228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sulliebee1019/pseuds/sulliebee1019
Summary: The annual St. Cecilia’s Winter Talent Show was just around the corner. Jason performs an original song and Peter questions him about some of the lyrics.Gotta find out who I’m meant to beI don’t believe in destinyBut with every word you swear to meAll my beliefs start caving inAnd I feel somethingAbout to changeSo bring the lightning, bring the fire, bring the fallI know I’ll get my heart throughI got miles to go, but from the day I started crawlin’I was on my way to find you
Relationships: Jason McConnell/Peter Simmonds
Kudos: 8





	To Find You

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based of the song "To Find You" from the movie Sing Street. I first discovered this song though Payson Lewis, who played Peter in the 2013 LA Revival of bare. Payson posted a cover of this song on his Youtube Channel (check him out, btw, his original music is AMAZING) and I fell in love with it! So I decided to write this story relating the song to Peter and Jason's relationship.  
> Also just FYI I base my Peter and Jason off Payson Lewis and Jonah Platt (and yes I know that Payson's eyes are blue but for the sake of this fic, they're green so don't hate me lol).
> 
> This is my first fanfiction in the bare fandom (and on Ao3) so please comment and let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy it :)

The annual St. Cecilia’s Winter Talent Show was just around the corner; there was one week of classes left before the Talent Show Friday night, followed by Christmas break. Freshman year had been a tough transition for a lot of the gang, and this week involved finals they may or may not be prepared for, but still they managed to forget their stress for a while at lunch, talking about what everyone was going to do for the talent show. Seventh and Eighth graders were not allowed to participate, so everyone was excited to _finally_ get to show off.

Diane and Rory had roped Alan into doing some synchronized dance performance.

Lucas was going to do “some dope magic tricks,” assisted by Tanya (much to Tanya’s embarrassment).

Ivy and Matt were going to sing the song “As Long As You’re Mine” from Ivy’s favorite musical, _Wicked_.

Zack and Kyra had a juggling act they were hoping to perfect before Friday.

Nadia, despite her unwillingness, was going to perform Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1, solely because Sister Chantelle heard her practicing and literally forced her to sign up.

Jason...well, all Jason had said was that he was going to _something_ , but he refused to tell anyone what it was. Not even Nadia, Jason’s _twin sister_ , knew what he was going to do. Neither did Peter, for that matter, and Peter was Jason’s roommate and best friend. They told each other everything. Well... _almost_ everything. Peter couldn’t blame Jason for keeping this a secret, because he had a secret of his own that he hadn’t told—couldn’t tell, Jason. Not ever. Because Peter couldn’t risk losing Jason. He decided he’d rather have him in his life as just a friend than lose him for good if he told Jason the truth. Peter couldn’t risk seeing disgust in Jason’s eyes if he knew that Peter liked him as more than a friend.

Peter, while good at acting (he did the school play last year and planned to do it again next semester), didn’t really think he had any “talents” that he could show off in a talent show. He decided he’d rather support his friends from the audience. After all, they were only freshman. He’d have 3 more opportunities to come up with something for the talent show if he wanted to.

Later that evening, Peter was sitting cross-legged on his bed, surrounded by textbooks, notebooks, and index cards. He had just decided to give up studying for his French final when Jason walked through the door, 2 hours later than usual.

“You’re back late, everything good?”

“Yeah,” said Jason, “I was just...studying.”

“Oh, you should have told me!” replied Peter. “We could have studied together. I have no idea how I’m gonna pass the French final on Wednesday.”

“We can study together tomorrow, if you want? I wasn’t studying French today, anyway.”

“I’d like that,” said Peter, a small smile on his lips. He always loved studying with Jason. Especially French, because Jason was so good at it and he loved listening to the romantic language roll of Jason’s tongue. “What were you studying?”

Jason, caught off guard at this question, said the first subject that came to mind: “Math.” Which was the wrongest answer he could have said, since they had had their math final this morning.

Peter just looked at Jason with one eyebrow raised, questioning. He knew Jason was lying.

“Fine, you caught me,” Jason slumped down at his desk. “I was practicing,” he mumbled.

“Practicing what?” Peter was confused since all the sports practices Jason usually had had ended last week. 

“Uh...” Jason thinks about lying again, but he hates lying to Peter, and those green eyes are staring at him so intently that Jason puts his head in his hands, embarrassed, and tells the truth. “I was practicing for the talent show,” he says quietly. He hears nothing from Peter, and risks a glance up.

Peter has a soft – gorgeous – smile on his face. “That’s great, Jason!” he says, and he sounds like he means it. The smile doesn’t change, but Jason detects a subtle shift in Peter’s eyes that turns his smile from soft to sly. “What are you doing for the talent show?”

Jason can’t help but smirk back, his bad mood forgotten. “I’m not telling you,” he teases.

Peter sticks out his bottom lip and pouts and Jason nearly gives in then and there because Peter just looks so _cute_ —no don’t think that way, Jason!—but he manages to hold his ground.

“Nope, sorry Peter. No amount of puppy dog eyes and pouting are gonna make me tell you!”

“Darn it! You sure? That always works on Nadia!”

“Yup, I’m sure. I’m. Not. Telling.”

“Fine. Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m sure that whatever you’re doing for the talent show, it will be amazing.” Jason must be imagining the slight blush on Peter’s cheeks because why would he blush after complimenting his friend? Jason’s _definitely_ overthinking this whole interaction.

“You really think so?” Jason asks. “You don’t even know what I’m doing yet...”

“I know so,” says Peter. “You’re good at literally everything you do. I’m sure this is no exception.” At this point, Peter gets up and walks quickly to the bathroom. Jason doesn’t realize it’s because the blush has overtaken Peter’s face and Peter is trying to hide it.

“Thanks, Pete,” says Jason softly, but loud enough to be heard through the bathroom door. “You’re a great...friend.” Jason hopes Peter doesn’t notice his slight hesitation before the word “friend.”

“You too, Jase.”

* * *

The rest of the week flew by in a blur of tests and constant study sessions. Jason got a perfect score on his French final, of course, while Peter managed to pull out a B- (and couldn’t be happier about that).

Friday morning finally rolled around and Peter and Jason got to sleep in an hour more than usual because they only had one final left—Biology—and they already studied for it together last night and both felt pretty confident about it.

“So,” said Peter, once he and Jason were both awake and getting ready for their last day of the semester, “are you ready for the talent show tonight?”

“Yeah, I think so,” said Jason, nervously. “I’m...kind of nervous about it, but I think I’m ready.” Jason hadn’t admitted to anyone that he was nervous, but he trusted Peter not to judge him.

“Sister Chantelle always says if you’re not nervous before a performance, _that’s_ when you need to worry.”

“Ha. I wish my dad had that same outlook on baseball games.”

“Jase, it’s okay to be nervous. You’ll be great! I know you will.” Peter seems to say that last sentence to himself, but Jason hears it anyway.

“Thanks, Peter,” Jason replied, a small smile on his lips. Peter returned the smile and Jason thought to himself, _that boy can always make all my doubts and fears go away_.

* * *

The auditorium was packed, but luckily Peter had gotten their early so he could get the best seat in the house (dead center, about 8 rows back) to see all his friends perform (and/or embarrass themselves). He was kind of sad that he was the only one of his friends not participating in the talent show, but he had no idea what he could have done anyway. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, he focused on enjoying his friends’ performances.

Diane, Rory, and Alan’s dance was surprisingly decent, if you could get past the bad robot dance from Alan and the strange Waltz/Charleston hybrid that Diane and Rory did.

Lucas somehow managed to release a real-life dove from his hat, much to Tanya’s (and the rest of the school’s) surprise. (“It never worked in our rehearsals,” Tanya revealed to Peter later.)

Ivy and Matt’s performance of “As Long As You’re Mine” was great. Ivy went all out on her makeup, and although Matt’s voice cracked a couple of times (puberty sucks, alright?) it was a decent performance and Peter thoroughly enjoyed it.

Kyra and Zack only dropped one pin during their juggling act, which is better than what could be said for the group of Juniors who tried juggling as well (Peter felt bad for the front row after that debacle).

Nadia knocked it out of the park! She figured that if she was going to be forced to do the talent show that she might as well have fun with it. So while yes, _technically_ she did play Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1, she also sang an original song on top of it: an Ode to Winter, including lines about how much she hates the cold, finals, and singing.

Typically, in the St. Cecilia’s Talent Show, the younger students go towards the beginning, and the older students go towards the end. But when the 3 acts from Juniors were done and it moved on to a group of Seniors and Jason _still_ hadn’t gone on, Peter began to get worried.

What if Jason had gotten too nervous and quit? What if he fell asleep in their room when he went to get ready? What if? What if what if?

After the first group of Seniors finished their very bad (in Peter’s opinion) miming skit, a group of stage techs rolled out the grand piano (that was rarely used) and set it up center stage along with a microphone. Peter was struggling to breathe because he was worrying so much about Jason. He was just going to get up and go look for him when Sister Chantelle announces the next act.

“Up next we have Jason McConnell! Jason will be performing an original song called 'To Find You.'”

The person dominating Peter's thoughts then walked confidently onto stage, accompanied by applause, and sat down at the piano. Jason looked out into the audience; immediately blue eyes found green and Jason smiled softly before breaking eye contact and focusing on the piano in front of him.

Peter’s mind short-circuited when Jason’s hands began to move across the keys playing a simple but beautiful melody that could only be described as _longing_. He’s known Jason for over two years and had no idea that he could play piano, much less play it well.

Peter almost melts in his seat when Jason’s voice fills the auditorium. Sure, he’s heard Jason sing in the shower multiple times, but it was never like this.

**  
_You were staring at your bedroom wall  
_ ** **_With only ghosts beside you  
_ ** **_Somewhere out where the wind was calling  
_ ** **_I was on my way to find you  
_ ** **_I was on my way to find you_ **

  
Peter imagines that Jason is singing to him. He knows the song isn’t about him. It’s probably for Ivy, if anyone. Maybe Diane or Rory. Maybe no one, if Peter's really lucky. But still, he lets the music wash over him, and as he watches Jason play it’s like everyone else disappears and it’s only the two of them.

**  
_And you were racing like a cannonball  
_ ** **_In roller skates and sky blue_ **

  
At this point, Peter’s heart stopped in his chest. He _knows_ that Jason isn’t singing about him. He knows that. But that doesn’t change the fact that last year, the whole gang decided to ask their parents for roller skates for Christmas so that they could have something to do together on the weekends rather than just sitting around in their dorm rooms. Peter’s roller skates were sky blue and Jason’s were light green (and they always joked that their skates matched the other’s eyes).

_  
Jason, as with everything, was good at skating right away, as was Matt. The rest of the gang caught on pretty quickly...except for Peter. By the end of the first day of skating, his ankles hurt, his knees and palms were skinned from falling so much, and he wanted to cry so badly because he just sucked._

_Jason and Peter had known each other –_ lived with _each other – for over a year now, so Jason knew something was up even before they had gotten back to the room. After Jason got out of the shower, he saw Peter curled up in bed, lightly shaking from his silent cries. Jason hadn’t wanted to say anything in front of their friends, but now that it was just the two of them and he could see just how upset Peter was, Jason’s heart broke. He sat on the edge of Peter’s bed in nothing but his towel, rubbing Peter’s shoulder (trying to ignore the slight tingly feeling he felt where his hand toughed Peter) and comforting him while he cried, not saying anything, just listening as Peter explained – through tears and hiccups – what was bothering him. It was Jason who suggested that Peter just needed some extra skating practice, and even offered to help Peter, so they devoted 2 hours a day to helping Peter get better before the next planned skating session with the rest of the group. Sometimes while Jason was at baseball practice, Peter would practice skating on his own. Without the judgement of his friends or fear of humiliation if he fell down, Peter got the hang of skating pretty quickly (although he’d be lying if he didn’t act worse than he actually was when he was with Jason solely so Jason would hold his hands to help him keep balance)._

_The next time the whole group went skating, it was like Peter was a different person. He had_ mostly _figured out the other day how to skate backwards, but hadn’t told Jason about it yet._

_“Race ya,” says Peter, a smirk on his face._

_“You’re on!” replies Jason._

_Nadia counts them down and they take off, Peter quickly gaining speed. He turns backwards to tease Jason. The look on Jason’s face was priceless! When turning back around, however, Peter’s skate hits a rock and he goes tumbling, and there’s a sickening crunch as his arm breaks out from under him._

_Jason is by his side in seconds._

_“You were racing like a cannonball, Peter! What were you thinking, you_ just _learned how to skate last week!” Jason sounds worried, and looks even more so._

_“I was thinking I was gonna beat you,” smirks Peter, “and I think I did.”_

  
Peter rubs his arm absentmindedly, vaguely remembering the trip to the hospital as Jason’s fingers glide across the piano.  
  


**_Or in the backseat watching the slow rain falling  
_ ** **_I was on my way to find you_ **

  
Jason still remembered that trip to the hospital after the skating incident last year. Sister Chantelle let Jason come with her and Peter, but only because he was Peter’s roommate and had been there when the accident happened.

_  
The doctors did an x-ray on Peter’s arm, and luckily it wasn’t a bad break. Jason wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself if it had been bad. He was barely able to forgive himself as it was! It didn’t take long for a nurse to get some pain medication in Peter’s system and for the doctors to get his arm set and cast._

_Peter got very giggly once the pain medication kicked in. It had started drizzling while they were in the hospital, and Peter was hanging on tightly to Jason on the walk back to the car, the two of them squeezed under a small umbrella. Normally, Jason wouldn’t have felt comfortable with another boy’s hands around his waist and his head on his shoulder, but this was_ Peter, _his_ best friend _for goodness sake! Besides, o_ _nly Sister Chantelle was here and Jason was_ so glad _that Peter was okay that he honestly didn’t care what she thought. Plus, they had no choice but to share the umbrella_ and _he had the “Peter’s high on pain meds” excuse if Sister Chantelle mentioned anything about it (she didn’t)._

_Jason carefully got Peter into the back seat while Sister Chantelle climbed in the driver’s seat and started the car. She was saying something about stupid decisions, but Jason was too distracted by Peter’s red hair plastered to his forehead and his dopey green eyes smiling at him to listen to her closely._

_As they pulled out of the hospital parking lot and headed back to the school, Peter stared out the window of the car, watching the slow rain falling. Jason stared at Peter, perfectly content to watch him breathe and just...exist so beautifully._

_As if he could hear Jason’s thoughts, Peter swung his head around and his eyes found Jason’s immediately, though it took him longer than usual to focus, Jason noticed. The pain meds must be really strong._

_“You’re my best friend, you know that, right Jase?” asks Peter seriously. Jason smiles and nods._

_“You’re my best friend too, Pete.” Peter blinks slowly and smiles back at Jason._

_“I’m so glad I met you,” Peter says, and Jason’s heart nearly stops because at that point, Peter reaches across the middle seat and grabs his hand and it’s like fire where they touch...but the good kind of fire (if there is such a thing). Jason’s hand has never felt more alive than it does with Peter’s in it._

_Peter turns his head and looks back out the window, but keeps his hand in Jason’s. Jason’s brain is screaming at him to pull his hand away_ —this is wrong, you shouldn’t feel this way!— _but he could not physically bring himself to do that, to interrupt the connection that had formed between the boys. Instead, Jason looks at Peter one more time before turning to his own window to watch the rain as Sister Chantelle drives them back to the school. Their hands stay clasped between them, and_ suddenly _, Jason thinks,_ the world makes sense again _.  
_

**_Gotta find out who I’m meant to be  
_ ** **_I don’t believe in destiny  
_ ** **_But with every word you swear to me  
_ ** **_All my beliefs start caving in  
_ ** **_And I feel something  
_ ** **_About to change_  
  
**

Jason knows who he’s _supposed_ to be. He knows he’s _supposed_ to be the 4.0 student and Valedictorian of their Senior class. He knows he’s _supposed_ to go to Notre Dame and become a lawyer like his dad. He knows he’s _supposed_ to get married to a lovely girl, have 2.5 kids, and live in a cookie-cutter house with a white picket fence and a dog. “Destiny” didn’t exist, after all, according to his dad. Nothing should be left up to chance and one must plan for everything.

Jason never questioned any of that. That is, until a boy with wild red hair and piercing green eyes walked into his dorm room at St. Cecilia’s two years ago and announced that he was Jason’s roommate, Peter.

And even then, Jason still didn’t question most of what he’s _supposed_ to be. He was good at school; a 4.0 wasn’t hard for him to achieve, and Valedictorian was a great goal to have. Notre Dame was a family legacy and he wouldn’t mind being a lawyer; they make good money, after all. He also didn’t mind the idea of raising kids and living in a stereotypical house with a white picket fence and a dog.

The only thing he questioned now was the “wife” part of the plan. Because as soon as Peter walked into that dorm room, something changed. Jason knew immediately that he had been waiting his entire life to meet this boy. He knew immediately that Peter was the question and the answer, and he knew immediately that he didn’t want a wife.

**_So bring the lightning, bring the fire, bring the fall  
_ ** **_I know I’ll get my heart through  
_ ** **_I got miles to go, but from the day I started crawlin’  
_ ** **_I was on my way to find you  
_ ** **_I was on my way to find you  
_ ** **_I was on my way everyday  
_ ** **_I was on my way to find you_ **

  
The last chord of the piano faded to nothingness and for what felt like minutes, but was probably only about 7 seconds, there was no sound, not even breathing, from anyone in the auditorium. As one, the audience took a giant breath and leaped to their feet, clapping and cheering, hooting and hollering, as Jason stood up from the bench and took a bow, an embarrassed smile on his face. When he rose from his bow, his eyes locked with Peter’s briefly, the smile still on his lips, before he walked off stage.

* * *

After the Talent Show ends, Jason walks back to his dorm room accompanied by his group of friends, minus Peter. Jason tries not to feel too sad that Peter wasn’t there. He knows he was at the show – he saw him right in the center before and after he performed! – but he still wished that Peter at least came to see him afterwards like all their other friends did. Jason and the rest of the group chat casually about how all the other performers did, and as they climb the stairs, they split off to their respective floors and dorm rooms. Jason and Peter’s room is on the very top floor at the end of the hallway, so Jason ends up alone at his door.

Jason barely turns the doorknob before he’s got a bunch of flowers shoved in his face, roses to be exact.

“Congratulations Jason!” says Peter. He’s standing there with a huge smile on his face and a dozen roses in his hand held out to Jason.

“Are...these for me?” Jason looks at the roses, confused, and steps further into the room to close the door.

“Of course they are, silly,” explains Peter. He hands Jason the roses. “It’s typical after someone performs to get them roses as a congratulations for doing so well!”

“Oh. Well, uh thanks, then,” says Jason, and he smiles softly at Peter. Jason makes a mental note to get Peter roses after his next theatre performance, because _obviously_ best friends can get best friends flowers for special occasions and it’s not weird or means something more than it does. Right?

Jason goes to set the flowers down before realizing that he has no idea where he’s going to put the flowers. He doesn’t even know how to take care of flowers!

Peter, sensing this, holds up a plastic vase and waves it at Jason. “I had a feeling you might need this. Just fill it with water from the sink and put the roses in it. Trim the ends of the roses, first, though. Then they’ll last a week or two; you don’t have to do much other than that.”

“Thank God,” laughs Jason. “I can barely take care of myself.”

Peter laughs at Jason’s joke, and although it’s short and quick, it’s genuine, and it makes Jason’s whole body ignite as if he’s standing too close to a fireplace. The heat only intensified as Jason chuckled with him, and their eyes found each other’s.

“So,” said Peter, his laugh still lingering in his smile. “You were amazing tonight! Did you write that song about someone specific? Or was it just a random song you wrote cause you’re just that good?”

Jason blushed slightly at Peter’s compliment, hoping the other boy didn’t notice what he did to him.

“Oh, uh, it was about someone specific.” Jason’s laugh faded from his face, but the blush did not. The last thing he need was Peter prying too deeply into who the song was written about.

“Who?”

Jason’s eyes snapped to Peter’s, wide and frightened. He was positive that his face was no longer tinged with pink and instead white as a sheet. _Shit._ “Uh, um...”

“Sorry,” said Peter quickly, sensing Jason’s panic. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, um, sorry. It’s just, uh, I have a, um, a crush on someone and I, uh, wrote it about them but like,” Jason took a deep breath. He was nervous; he hadn’t told anyone any details about this, but he could tell by looking at Peter that he needed _something_ to make him stop prying, so Jason spoke as quickly and firmly as he could. “It’s just a dumb crush that’s not gonna happen cause the person doesn’t like me back and I know that for a fact so there’s no point in going into detail about it.”

Peter looked sad for a moment, but then nodded in understanding. Although his better judgement is telling him not to say anything, he decides to say it anyway. “I get it. I feel exactly the same way about the person I have a crush on.” Peter misses Jason’s head shooting up to look at him. “But we just deal with it and move on. It'll go away eventually. Right?”

Peter looks up and meets Jason’s eyes.

“Right,” Jason confirms, hesitatingly.

A minute or two of silence goes by before Peter breaks it.

“I promise I’m not asking you to tell me who your crush is, but can you tell me if I at least know this person?” Jason hesitates, and Peter adds on, “You know my crush, if that helps.”

Jason sighs a sigh that might be a laugh before saying, “Yeah, you know them.”

Peter just nods, going back to his thoughts and trying to figure out which girl in their friend group that Jason might like enough to write a song about.

* * *

Peter and Jason spend the next hour or so cleaning up their room and starting to pack for the Christmas Break. After all, their parents would be here to pick them up on Sunday after Mass; they really only had one more night after tonight to get everything organized, so they figured they’d better start now.

They talked mostly about the other acts that had performed that night: how their friends did, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Both Peter and Jason agreed that the Senior who won _definitely_ did not deserve to win. However, she was the only performer who had done the show all four years, so even though a Sophomore (in Jason’s opinion) or Jason (in Peter’s opinion) actually deserved to win, it was given to the Senior because of, well, seniority. All the while, Peter’s thoughts buzzed around in his head, unspoken.

Later on as they were getting ready for bed, Peter decided he couldn’t hold his question in any longer. He had been thinking for the past 2 hours about who Jason could possibly have a crush on. After he came to an unfortunate conclusion on _that_ topic, he had been thinking about why some specific lyrics in Jason’s song didn’t work for that person, and repercussions be damned, he had to know.

“Jason?”

Jason looked up from where he was grabbing his pajamas out of the dresser. “Yeah?”

Peter averted his eyes as Jason started to change. “Can I ask you something?” he says, softly.

“You just did,” Jason smirks, pulling his pajama pants on. He’s about to grab his shirt before he’s hit squarely in the chest with one of Peter’s pillows. “Hey!”

“Jerk,” Peter smirks back, pleased that the throw distracted Jason from putting a shirt on for a little while longer – he _promises_ he’s _trying_ not to look. “You know what I mean, though.”

“Yep, you’re just fun to mess with.” Jason tosses the pillow back to Peter before sitting down on his bed, shirt forgotten. “What’s up?”

Suddenly Peter is very nervous. “It’s, uh, it’s about your song?” It comes out more like a question than the statement it is.

“Oh...uh yeah, what about it?” Jason shifts uncomfortably, wondering what Peter could possibly want to ask him.

“So I, uh, I was, um, wondering...” Peter, unable to sit any longer, stands up and starts to pace back and forth across the room. Jason’s eyes following him the whole time, but neither one dares to make eye contact with the other. “I was, uh, wondering about the, um, the line about the roller skates? Cause like, if you like Ivy like I think you do, then, um, wouldn’t it make more, I don’t know, more sense to say purple instead of sky blue?”

Peter doesn’t notice Jason’s eyes widen at the question, nor hear his sharp intake of breath. Peter begins to ramble at this point, partially because he doesn’t know how to stop and also because he knows that if he stops talking, Jason will have to answer, and that could be the end of everything.

“Ivy’s skates are purple so the song should say purple, right? But then again, I guess that purple doesn’t really rhyme with anything does it? Purple, smurple, curple, where as ‘blue’ is easier to rhyme with but like _my_ skates are sky blue so why would you use the color of my skates in a song for Ivy it doesn’t make—.”

“Peter.”

Peter spins around and Jason is so close that he can feel his breath on his face. Peter blinks once, looks up into Jason’s deep blue eyes, and says, “yes?”

Jason’s voice lowers to a whisper, and despite every part of his brain telling him not to say this, he says it anyway: “I didn’t write the song for Ivy.”

Peter wants to swallow but there’s a huge lump in his throat and his mouth is so dry that he can’t even pull in a breath. Jason is even closer now, if that’s even possible, their eyes locked. Peter’s voice is softer than a whisper. “Who did you write it for, then?”

And then Jason’s lips are on Peter’s and Peter’s hands are on Jason’s chest and _this is so right._

* * *

Sooner than either of them would have liked, they separated (why do humans have to breathe?!). Peter opened his eyes and looked straight at Jason, only to see a flash of fear strike through his eyes as he pulled away from Peter.

“I’m sor—,”

“No, Jason,” Peter grabs Jason’s hand before he can make a run for it. His voice is small but firm as he speaks. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I...” In a moment of bravery, Peter spits out the secret he’s been keeping for over 2 years now. “You’re my crush, Jason. You’re the person I like.”

“You...you’re...like me?” Jason whispers so softly that Peter almost didn’t hear him.

“Is...that okay?” Peter has known Jason for over two years and can read him better than anyone else can, but right now he has no clue what Jason is thinking. Even when Jason squeezes his hand softly, Peter doesn’t dare hope that Jason is thinking what he wants him to.

“Peter...” Jason’s voice cracks on Peter’s name and he has to swallow before trying to speak again.

Peter looks at the ground, preparing for the worst.

“That is...” Jason steps closer to Peter and tightens his grip on his hand. Carefully, he lifts Peter’s chin with his other hand so that he can look in those gorgeous green eyes that captured his heart from day one. As he catches sight of disappointment and sadness in Peter's eyes, Jason finds some of his own bravery and confesses, “that is _more_ than okay.”

This time it’s Peter who leaps forward to initiate their second kiss and Jason doesn’t hesitate before grabbing tight to Peter with the intent of never letting go. _It took me long enough to find him. I’m not going to leave him, ever,_ Jason thinks.

They end up kissing and talking (but mostly kissing) on the foot of Peter’s bed. Not once has Jason’s hand left Peter’s, and not once has Peter wanted it to leave. But he knows it’s late, and they were supposed to be in bed over an hour ago. However, it’s a night of honestly and revelation, so Peter bares his thoughts after one of the many times they have to come up for air.

“I don’t want to go to bed.”

Jason begins kissing him again, and a couple of minutes later, responds as if no time had passed since Peter had spoken.

“Why not?”

Now it’s Peter who kisses Jason before continuing the conversation and baring himself even more.  
  
“Because then you’ll have to let go of my hand.”

Jason pecks Peter’s lips once and smiles sweetly at him before asking, “Who said I’m letting go of your hand?”

Jason then crawls up Peter’s bed, pulling the covers down as he went, and tugged Peter’s hand gently to get him to follow suit. Jason laid down on his side and opened his arms, raising his eyebrows at Peter in invitation. Peter smiled and took his spot against Jason’s chest, where he fit perfectly like he was made to be there.

As Peter lays in Jason’s arms, he feels at peace for the first time since he was 12. Jason tightens his grip slightly around Peter’s waist, their hands still intertwined, and Peter hears him start to sing softly in his ear.

_**I got miles to go, but from the day I started crawlin’** _  
_**I was on my way to find you** _  
_**I was on my way to find you** _  
_**I was on my way everyday** _  
_**I was on my way to find you** _  
  


Jason, having finished his song, is pulled closer to sleep by the warmth that Peter’s body provides. He kisses the back of Peter’s neck once, and whispers, “I am so glad I found you.”

Peter, cuddled into Jason, falls asleep with a smile on his face.


End file.
